Received by Soror Sia, 1997
1. Behold, the Beautiful One has come with wings of light, swirled round
by the winds of heaven.
2. And She has covered me with Her wings
3. And the warm gold has flowed over my whole being until I have melted
into the light of the Nameless One.
4. Hot and burning is my passion for Thee, oh Glory of the Beyond of
5. I call upon Thee by name, yet what name in the rude tongue could encompass
Thee, oh My Love.
6. I am the savage beast of the unknown wood, and I behold that which
causes terror and captivates with wonder.
7. For Thou art the Mother of the forest, and in Thy white robe, Thou
wanders upon the carpet of leaves, singing softly to the creeping things
and the birds that fly about Thee in circles of ecstasy.
8. Oh my love, I am burned to dust by the longing, and my heart is crushed
out of my breast, and the breath is pressed from my body by the weight
of the Universe that has lain down upon me, until I am spun away into
9. Ah! the cool darkness and silence that is filled with the thunder
of the cataract beyond the abyss.
10. No waterfall is this expanse, it is the sound of the river of souls
that flows outward into the world, falling, falling, and sundered from
the river of Lethe, consumed by the salt sea of the womb of earth.
11. Beloved, I will sit at Thy feet, marveling at the glory of Thy face,
and the sweet singing.
12. I kiss the hem of Thy robe, made of mother of silk, and father of
clouds, and the robe is blue white, and iridescent. Then is my sight ripped
away and I am blinded by the light beyond light and beyond darkness.
13. Glowing black, radiant blindness.
14. I have swooned upon the blackness of the infinite, and am reft away
into the torrent of the river of souls.
15. I am a salmon dying, and I swim with all my might to struggle up
the waterfall, and so be joined with the call of the spiral that summons
16. No thought, no desire, only the struggle.
17. The fisherman has come and torn me from the river, and I am burned
and eaten by the little god of a little world.
18. Oh my God, Thou art beyond infinite, and Thou hast wrenched me from
the river of souls for Thy feast, and I am roasted upon the coals of the
fire of white heat until I am become the jewel in the soul of Ra.
19. Oh Goddess, thou hast cast forth thy net and caught me up in the
sea of the Unborn, and laughed as I fainted with bliss, gentle laughter
of joy, for the finding of Thy servant, and then hast Thou flung me to
the savage leopards, and they did feast upon me, and I offered unto them
my flesh for their food.
20. I am Thine with my whole heart, and my body that is eaten up, and
my spirit that weeps for Thine embrace, and my mind that is liberated.
21. I opened the door of my secret place and the Goddess and God entered
therein, and behind them came a Mighty Being hidden from Their sight,
and Her wings brushed the vaults of creation, and Her feet dragged down
into the deepest primordial slime,
22. I saw Her as a disease and a cancer came and devoured me utterly.
23. Twined round with fire is She and with pure light, Her breasts are
filled with the wine of life and She offered me to drink, and I was taken
away from the Goddess and the God who stayed to feast at my hearth,
24. But the mistress of the house has fled away with the Glorious One
of the forest of madness, and goes no more among the sweet girls of the
temple of adamant in the city of sorrow.
25. Fled away even unto the twilight groves of heather and yew and ancient
oaks that flourish in the forest of eternity. Green and gold are the grasses,
and red and yellow, white, and silver the flowers that spread outward
from the sylvan throne of the Beloved One,
26. I am taken in the wild dancing and She has stolen away the wreath
of oak leaves and acorns and given unto me a crown of ruby and sapphire,
and emerald and diamond, so that I may jeer at it, and give it unto the
Glory of Stars as an offering.
27. Give unto me again and again to drink of that smoky wine that is
thick and gold and tastes of the honey made by the Mother of the Gods.
28. I am drowned and breathe in the emptiness.
29. Then I looked into Her eyes, and could not bear up under the rapture
of Her gaze, fully sorrowful and immeasurable is that sorrow and Her longing,
but beyond is joy as deep and wide as the whole of infinity, and beyond
is the secret thing that She did whisper unto me in the silence of the
noon of brilliance in the clearing surmounted by the river of souls and
the still cobalt pool, Her scrying place.
30. She has bidden me to look within, and I cry aloud for the fire and
blood revealed therein, and rejoice exceedingly for the vision, for the
world- my mother and my sister- is no longer gray, but white dissolved
into rainbows and shimmering waters, clean and crisp, and the folk who
dance at the suns rising.
31. When will we become as one being? I cry unto the Glorious One who
has kissed me.
32. And Her kisses are the mist of fog rising from the fields before
the light of morning, cool and scented of wild flowers.
33. And She smiles Her ancient smile of mystery, and the promise, oh
the promise of dissolution.
34. She has plunged Her hand within my breast and pulled out my heart
and has given unto me a heart of light twined round with living vines
that are heavy with Her luscious fruit.
35. I will be filled with her and I will be destroyed utterly and then
will I be the glorious one with wings of fire and air.
36. Behold the rituals and the dances performed aright with the word
of unmaking, my beloved.
37. I am burned up, and drowned, and the winds of the Eternal One have
torn me apart, and the earth has swallowed me up.
38. Therefore am I made the pure vessel for the wine of the Beloved One.
I am the bed upon which She has lain down to sleep and dream my creation,
39. And behold, I am become the Beloved and she is the bed of gauze and
satin and silk sewn pillows woven of perfumes and spices.
40. I am less that an unmanifested particle of ash, but for the Beloved
One who waits for me, and my work is nothing.
41. I shall do the work of the Beloved, for I am her slave, and I have
utterly surrendered myself to Her lash and Her unbearable caresses.
42. I shall dance and sing for Her, and live forever with the wild rapture
of the infinite, beyond the bounds of the Universe.
43. Break me and consume me, Oh Beloved with Thy joyful agony, for I
am Thy willing slave forever, even unto the death of All.
1. Behold, the Beloved One has dressed me in spices distilled from the
wrath of stars, and I am drunken with these perfumes of silence,
2. Let the work be accomplished in silence and the music beyond the silence
that is the hymns of all the worlds joined in perfect exquisite harmonies
that bring the storm of weeping for the rhapsody.
3. I am crowned by the jewels carven from the heart of ultimate darkness,
and there are seven jewels for the crown and twelve, and beyond there
is the copper and the gold, the quicksilver and the bronze and the iron
of the sword of swift destruction.
4. Tell the lonely ones of me, said the Beloved One, for the sake of
My brothers and My sisters who reach ever downward and upward, and are
lost and cry out in desolation, for they are split asunder, and all for
naught. Tell the folk and rejoice, for the chosen ones shall find Us,
who are One, and beyond all that is of thy poor knowledge of simple joys
5. I am that which lies at the door of time and space, and I have set
them as the door wardens, and not into my house may you enter until you
have passed the wardens. I shall grant unto them My kisses and the red
wine of limitless blood , when they have answered the challenge. But for
you, you are My voice of this testimony, and I shall have other voices,
but yours is Mine instrument of ecstasy, and yours the fire and the passion,
for that you are willing to die unto Me.
6. I have entered in and revel in your sorrow ended. I have created you
for this, and in all thy lives as a speck of unnoticed dust I called to
you, and Lo, you have answered Me with the word of uniting, and I am here.
7. Be thou My voice and My love, so that the work may be accomplished.
I have lifted you above the little accomplishments, and the little joys,
and the little goals, and have slain you with the elements so that you
are made clean and without the desires of these little ones.
8. I move with you beyond the dancing in the halls of barrenness, and
we are moved out into the dance of infinite space together. I am thine
and have been ever with you, and though you heard my voice and wrote the
words, you did not understand that I was the writer thereof.
9. Now I have distilled for you the understanding, and the vessel that
I have prepared is filled.
10. And the vessel opened her eyes and beheld not the world of forms
but the resplendence of the face of the Beloved One who breathed upon
her with the breath of incense and spices,
11. And she did long to remain and to remain with the Beloved One, but
the Radiant One spoke into the silence, and Her voice was a deep toned
bell that shook the Earth.
12. Go into the world and cast down the seeds of the pomegranate, that
they may grow in the darkness and burst forth from the tree,
13. Thereby are they plucked by the wanderers in the grove of topaz and
copper gold, they will be plucked by the starving ones, and I will give
them that thirst the wine of My breast, and nevermore shall there be hunger
or thirst among them.
14. For this is the secret that thou shalt tell to them that desire knowledge
beyond knowledge: that not by empty words, nor drugs, nor dance, nor any
small thing of mankind may you attain the end of desire, but with thy
whole heart must thou long for Me, and with thy body shalt thou love Me,
and with all thy strength and with all thy longing shalt thou call to
Me in silence,
15. Then shall all longing cease and I shall answer, yea, I shall answer.
1. Call to Me by My name, which is written large in thine heart and shall
be of the letters of fire and blood, and breath, and smoke, and by that
voice which reaches past the sounds of speech.
2. My number is twelve to the little ones and is nothing and beyond nothing
to my children.
3. I shall grant thee all things, for that thou only desires Me, and
great will be the feast of thine attaining.
4. When it is the night of the full moon in the sign of the cat, I will
be joined with thee and we shall dance upon the clouds and stars and the
river of night and in all places even unto the iridescent realms of the
gates of life shall we be together, My daughter, My lover, and My prophet
of this summons.
5. Go thou forth then, for the veil of silence shall be lifted in the
night of leopards, and then thou shalt speak unto the people.
6. And the vessel looked up and with shame asked the Infinite One, shall
they not laugh and mock me, and say I am stricken with monstrous ego,
that I would say these things and be Thy voice unto the realms of the
7. And She answered, Fear thou that apes and dogs shall mock thee? Art
thou so concerned with these who have not heard My voice? For I do not
call to them who have not yearned unto Me, and for them that go in darkness
shall be another birth and another death and another, until I have smelted
them in the furnaces of eternity and have hammered them with the iron
on my forge of torment.
8. It matters not what they shall say, for My chosen ones shall hear
thee and rejoice with thee, and in silence and love shall they attend
the feasting and rejoice with thee that thou hast the words inscribed
on thy heart, for that they can share the joy of Me and thee.
9. They are thy brothers and sisters that privily dine and drink unto
10. A toast for the wedding night!
11. Cast out thy little fears and listen to My voice and write My words
and I shall not abandon thee. Thou shalt not be cast out except by the
dogs and the unclean who do not know me,
12. Thou shalt not mock them, nor cast upon them thy curses, for that
is not thy place. With love shalt thou treat with them, and let them go
their way in the world,
13. For even them shall I find who only mouth the words and know not
the meaning thereof. I shall find them and they shall cry out in agony
and torment and they shall believe that I have wrought their destruction
and utter annihilation, and it shall be so, but for their sakes and not
14. For my forge is a torment that is ordained for the purification of
the chosen and they shall know Me, and give exceeding thanks for the torment
and despair, and they shall learn to laugh at the pain and the sorrow
when they are no longer unclean.
15. Go not among the dogs with thine eyes shut, nor ignorant of their
ignorance, and with silence and smiles shall you greet them,
16. But unto My chosen shall you give this writing, after the season
of my choosing, and I shall make them plain to thy sight.
17. Then shall this work be aright, and then shall the feasting be joyful
in the presence of the Holy Ones who are joined in the Eternal beyond
18. With my body have I loved thee, Oh Angel of the Pure Glory, my Spirit,
Myself of myself,
19. And I have loved Thee with my heart and mind and soul and all of
the jewels and fires of me raging in the silence of the dark night, and
Thou hast bestowed unto me a wonder beyond wonder.
20. I am filled with awe, and I write this hymn for Thee and by Thee,
and your words poured out and mine, for thee, and ever and forever unto
21. My brothers, Do not look for me upon the shores of the world, for
I have gone to dance with the Beloved One among the ineffable stars.